What is it like to be a father
What role am I to play in that part
Why must I be like all others
One day a year to celebrate
One day a year to forget
Once I would like to enter into it without my heart breaking
life is full of all the workings of life
Especially this day of fathers day
As I ponder my role in all of my parts with all of my children
I wanted for them all that I never had
Alas they got only a part of that
I wonder over and over if I am or was a good dad
Time will only tell for even now I can see my kids wanting me
Yet when they have me all they want to do is tune out on me
They live a different life, one that I try to understand
I attempt to get into their lives but fail at every turn
My kids try to bring me in and I resist
Why do I resist this
What purpose does this provide
Is it because I was raised very differently or the same
I love my kids and have let them walk all over me these years
I don't let them do that to me any more and they dislike that
I hold them accountable and they don't like that
I question their decisions and they don't like that
Is this what my role is as a dad
questioning
being real
holding accountable
Where is the loving
I see it because I care
I want them to succeed where I did not
I want them to be happy
But I get lost in the real world of "why did they choose that path"
I suppose I should work on letting go
Perhaps before I react follow my wife's,friends and counselors advice
"Don't get into the drama"
On this day of celebration for fathers I will strive to
Listen
Love
Care
and Respect my children that I have brought into this world
Happy fathers day from me to my children, wife and friends